We are Pokemon
by sunpop
Summary: The characters of Naruto are crossed with the characters of Pokemon. Randomness. Naruchu is pokenobinapped! Sashuke is desperate to find him. A tale of our poor poor Sashuke and his turmoils.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. The characters are not original. I also don't own Pokemon.  
  
~We are Pokemon~  
  
Pokemon – Shinobi = Pokenobi  
  
Ash – Sasuke = Sashuke  
  
Pikachu – Naruto = Naruchu  
  
Chikorita – Ino = Chino  
  
Snorlax – Choji = Chorjax  
  
Charizard – Neji = Nejizard  
  
Squirtle – Lee = Squirt-lee  
  
Brock – Shikamaru = Shockamaru  
  
Misty – Sakura = Misakura  
  
Prof. Oak - Kakashi = Koakashi  
  
Gary – Itachi = Itaryhi  
  
Jessie – Hinata = Hinasie  
  
James – Kiba = Kibes  
  
Meowth – Akamaru = Akameowth  
  
Oh god, this is so screwed up. I did this fic after I saw a picture of Pikachu wearing Naruto clothing, donning Naruto hair and carrying a shuriken. Damn it was so cute. I'm sorry I forgot who it was by T__T anyways.........  
  
~We are Pokemon~  
  
Part I: I luuurve you Naruchu  
  
"Thunder shock, Naruchu!" cried Sashuke. Instead, Naruchu threw a shuriken at him. "Ow! Naruchuuu, I thought you loved me!"  
  
"Na, Naru, ruu, Naruu!" chimed Naruchu, which in his *hem* language meant, "Shut up dobe, I won't let you beat me!"  
  
Of course, being the trainer of this adorable Naruchu, Sashuke knew exactly what he was saying. "Alright, Naruchu, I forgive you! Come on now! Thunderrrr shock!"  
  
He was assailed by shurikens.  
  
Right then, Misakura and Shockamaru caught up with Sashuke. Misakura hit Naruchu on the head with a big boulder once she saw what he had done to her wonderful Sashuke.  
  
"How could you Naruchu!" she wailed, "Eek Sashuke, maybe we should just leave Shockamaru and Naruchu behind! Then we could train together, alone~"  
  
Sashuke pushed Misakura off him. "Why are you still here? I've already paid you back for you bike! Go home!"  
  
Misakura trembled with tears "But, but my ashy haired love, I can't leave that awful Pokenobi, Chino-pig with you! I must save you from her ravaging vine whips and such!"  
  
As if hearing her, Chino burst out from her Pokeball, body slammed Misakura into hell and started snuggling up to Sashuke. Misakura returned quite quickly from......... hell and started strangling Chino. They ended up having a............ (Human – Pokenobi =) Pokenobiman fight with Sashuke getting some flyaway punches.  
  
Meanwhile, Naruchu was hungry for ramen and so he started eating grass, he had a very vivid imagination. Shockamaru studied his eating habits and decided that they weren't worth his time.  
  
Suddenly a smoke bomb was dropped and the crowd was engulfed in ...... well......... smoke.  
  
Prepare for trouble!  
  
And make it double!  
  
To protect the world from devastation!  
  
To unite the people within our nation!  
  
To denounce the evils of truth and –  
  
"Ok! Shut up!" yelled Sashuke at the floating Akameowth balloon. "We know the damned rest! But if you think you're going to take Naruchu you have another thing coming! Naruchu! Thunder shock that balloon!"  
  
This time he got a kunai up his ass.  
  
"Oh, Naruchu! How I admire you! I have ramen for you up here! Come and get it!" cooed Hinasie.  
  
"Naruuu~" answered Naruchu. And up he went, flllyinnng......... sort of......... more like getting carried by large pincers......... but whatever.........to Hinasie.  
  
"No!! Naruchu!!" cried Sashuke, "Come back! I love you, I always have! My pride just got in the way of telling you that." He tried, in vain, to get up. But was forced back down by Chino and Misakura who were still fighting through all this.  
  
"Shockamaru!" pleaded Sashuke, "help me get Naruchu back!"  
  
"Too much work." replied Shockamaru and promptly went to sleep.  
  
"Oh, Naruchu," said Hinasie, "You are so strong! And brave! I have always admired you! Here is your cup ramen!"  
  
"Chuuu~" Replied Naruchu, snuggling up to Hinasie and slurping his ramen. "Chuu~"  
  
[Next/End] of part I  
  
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Part II: Sashuke has a plan to get Naruchu back. It's a great plan! It really is! And it will work! It really will! And you all will see CROSS- SPECIES YAOI BETWEEN NARUCHU AND SASHUKE!!  
  
No actually you won't. But this is still part of the title.  
  
"Noooo!!!! MY NARUCHUUUU~ COME BACK! COME BACK!" Sashuke cried his heart out. Naruchu just ate it along with the ramen.  
  
As the Akameowth balloon faded to a tiny speck in the sky Sashuke still cried, Chino and Misakura had fought themselves into a state of unconsciousness and Shockamaru was snoring.  
  
Then Itaryhi arrived. He kicked Sashuke and told him to shut up. "So loser. /Lose/ any good Pokenobi lately?"  
  
"Yes!" Sobbed Sashuke, he sniffled a few times and curled up in a ball on the dirt road, "My Naruchu, my beautiful, cute Naruchu! /THEY!/ THEY TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!"  
  
Itaryhi twitched.  
  
"Ohh! How could they?! And how could Naruchu just go with them!?!? HE MUST HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED!! Ohh~ my poor Naruchu, brainwashed!"  
  
Itaryhi twitched again.  
  
"Aren't you going to do anything but twitch?!" Sashuke suddenly stood up, determined, eyes flashing. "Itaryhi! You will help me get back my Naruchu!"  
  
"Um......... no I won't. I will go now." But Sashuke glomped him and gave him puppy dog eyes, he even whimpered......  
  
Of course, that didn't work on Itaryhi. He was actually quite disgusted, but Sashuke's glomp was cutting off the blood circulation in his arm.  
  
"Baka! How many times have you defeated Team Rocket? Don't loose your head over it =__= It's not worth loosing, we don't need more trash in the world."  
  
"But I had my Naruchu with meee~ Now he is gone oh! Gone!" Sashuke went back to sobbing.  
  
Itaryhi tried to push him off. "Stop crying on my sleeve, you're wiping your runny nose on it!"  
  
Sashuke jerked up again. "NII – CHAN! I HAVE A PLAN!"  
  
".........well......... What is - "  
  
Silence.  
  
"Never mind, I don't want to know." And with that Itaryhi stalked off.  
  
"I will fight them with my POKENOBI!!"  
  
More silence.  
  
Then.  
  
Snore.  
  
Well, Shockamaru was still sleeping. Sashuke called his Chino back into her Pokeball, drew thick eyebrows on Shockamaru and tied Misakura up so she wouldn't follow him.  
  
"I CHOOSE YOU! NEJIZARD!"  
  
A mad looking lizard with rheumy white eyes and wings popped out. It immediately began to twitch. Sashuke jumped onto his back.  
  
"Onward my trusty steed!" He yelled, completely excited. "We shall go RESCUE my Naruchu from the EVIL CLUTCHES of that DAMNED Team Rocket!"  
  
And Nejizard took off with a......... he started......... stumbling. Slowly and painfully drawn out.  
  
"YEE HAAAA! GIDDY UP! GIDDY UP!" Sashuke was going to find his Naruchu  
  
[Next/End] of part II  
  
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Part III: Sashuke. I need him to get sidetracked and find Prof. Koakashi =_+. And he will. And he will use his Pokenobi to do battle with the EVIL. There will be EXCITEMENT and DRAMA and ANGST and ADVENTURE and LOSS and EXCITEMENT and DRAMA and ANGST and ADVENTURE and LOSS. And more angst.  
  
It was just too much for the sickly looking Pokenobi. Sashuke had taken to laying back and slurping on ramen while occasionally nudging Nejizard to random places. The fact was, he had no idea where Naruchu was, but ohh, the soothing swaying of Nejizard was too much to ignore. Might as well enjoy it. Suddenly Nejizard stopped, well more like collapsed.  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Snapped Sashuke as he turned to abuse his Pokenobi some more. That's when he noticed a gray haired man lying on the road. "Old man! Get off the road! I am the high and powerful Sashuke of [Konoha – Pewter =] Konoter city."  
  
The man didn't budge so Sashuke threw his ramen cup at him. Nothing happened. He was pretty sure the old man wasn't dead. But as he didn't get up, so Sashuke just assumed so.  
  
"Nejizard! Up!"  
  
But Nejizard couldn't get up so Sashuke just left him there. He was just about to step on the old man when suddenly the old man GRABBED SASHUKE'S LEG!!  
  
"Yummy." He said. "A leg." And he bit it.  
  
"YOUUUU DIGUSTING OLD MAAANN!!!!!!" Shrieked Sashuke slamming his foot in the hobo's face.  
  
"Disgusting old man?" He looked around, "Where? Where?!?! Young and beautiful boy! I shall save you from him!!"  
  
Sashuke backed away. "Who the hell are yo-" -Twitch- "Nevermind. I'll just be going." And started running away.  
  
But the old man caught him before he could get any further than a few steps.  
  
"My pretty boy," he cooed, "Do you not recognize /me/? I am Professor Koakashi of Konoter city. Heeheeehee" Koakashi started snuggling up to Sashuke.  
  
"Gahhh..........................." Sashuke likes twitching, a lot. "Go awaaayyyy." He wailed. "You're molesting meeee~"  
  
"HIIII-YAAAH!" Annnnd here is Misakura!! She AIMS A KICK AT Koakashi. PFFTT Of course she misses, she sucks remember? How did she manage to get out of those marvelous knots Sashuke made? Who knows! She must have had help! She too dumb otherwise.  
  
Koakashi being the gentleman decides to kick her ass, but only lightly, he didn't want his foot stuck up too far. ANNNNND Misakura is gone. Look! At her flyyying!  
  
Koakashi glances back and realizes that SASHUKE IS GONE!  
  
Run Sashuke run!! Go go go!  
  
"Damn," swears Koakashi, "That was one fiiiine~ boy." And he goes back to being slumped on the road. Waiting, watching for another unexpecting boy.  
  
Sashuke runs around. And around. And around. And around. Like a hamster XD aww~ He's so cute.  
  
[Next/End] of part III  
  
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Part IV: Fans R Us. The random chapter of RANDOMNESS. And stalkers... *nod* can't forget the stalkers  
  
"Naruchu!! Come back Naruchu!!" Sashuke was completely distraught. Tears stained his perfect face. Dirt was smeared purposefully around his body. He clawed at the ground moaning and groaning and crying. He only increased his volume when an old lady walked by. "I'm so hungry! Won't anyone help me?"  
  
"Young man," the old lady had kneeled before him, "how may I help you?"  
  
"Naruchu...... food..." Sashuke raised a hand to the shining face of his savior angel...... then blanked out.  
  
The old lady surveyed him skeptically then noticed a pink head in the bushes. "Hello? Is anyone there? Will you please help this young man?" The branches quickly parted. Misakura with a gleeful MANIACAL face stepped out.  
  
"Shuke-kun!" She chirped, voice dripping with affection. "Your lady has arrived! I searched for you far and wide, now I shall awaken you with the first kiss of true love!" She squealed in anticipation. "Oh! This is going to be so fun! I knew for the longest time that you wanted to kiss me Shuke- kun, but you were too shy! Aw~ just like a gentleman. But no fears! I shall initiate your long sought relationship with me. You flatter me with your love! Sometimes I know it is hard for you to show your affections ESPECIALLY with those @FANGIRLS@ stalking around but now! It is only YOU AND I and... an old lady."  
  
In this all ranting her eyes blazed, her face twisted with delight beyond recognition, the old lady had fainted... or was asleep... "Old hag! GET OUT OF HERE! CAN'T YOU GIVE US SOME PRIVACY?!?!?!" Misakura grabbed the unconscious lady by the back of her shawl and flung her away into the sky. ...then turned back to a unconscious Sashuke. Creeping closer to him and smacking her lips, "Yummy Shuke-kun, your lips are mine...bwehehehehe." You can almost see the unconscious Sashuke sweat. =_=  
  
Misakura started stroking his face, oh the feathery lightness! A sour look appeared on his face, it was like he was trying not to cry. In truth Sashuke had been faking it, he just wanted some free food from the old lady T_T ALL HE WANTED WAS SOME FOOD! Now where has that gotten him!?!??!?! He knew that if he just tried to run away that – that Misakura devil would pounce him. So......there was only one thing left to do..........  
  
He jumped up and threw a !Pokeball! in the face of evil and ran for dear life. From behind him he heard a scream of rage, she was coming after him! Well...it was worth a try =_= T_T He could hold it no longer, this was just SO WRONG! HE COULDN'T FIND NARUCHU, HE HAD NO FOOD, and that FREAK CHASING HIM just had to have an OVERDOES of hormones. Sashuke started crying. Running, crying, throwing Pokeballs over his shoulder. Suddenly CHINO POPPED OUT! Yay for Chino! Sensing danger approaching her beloved master she attacked the beast! And Sashuke just kept running.  
  
...Right into a Chorjax. "Chooor....................................jaaaaxxx." ....... It had a nice, big, soft belly and Sashuke felt like sleeping all of a sudden. So did the Chorjax. So it fell asleep on Sashuke.  
  
[Next/End] of part IV  
  
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Part V: The Thing. Sounds OMINOUS EH?!?!?! Good. Prepare for /the thing/.  
  
And so, a few hours later.... Sashuke managed to capture the Chorjax^^ But Itaryhi visited and stole it T_T ("Yo loser, /lose/ any good Pokenobi lately?" =__=)  
  
Now we see Shockamaru he is sleeping...... and dreaming ^^ but then he woke up and decided to eat something. Now we can't see him......  
  
"Naruchu!! Come back Naruchu!!" Sashuke was completely distraught. Tears stained his perfect face. Dirt was smeared purposefully around his body. He clawed at the ground moaning and groaning and crying. He only increased his volume when an old lady walked by. "I'm so hungry! Won't anyone help me?"  
  
The old lady gave him some bread and Sashuke was happy. As he munched away, he pondered. Pondered all the ponderable ways to get Naruchu back. It had been a whole day! Normally Team Rocket would have already been beaten by now. Was he !!LOSING HIS TOUCH?!?!?!!! At this thought Sashuke burst into tears.  
  
"Gods, stop crying, it's annoying." Shockamaru stood behind Sashuke and peered down at the sobbing child.  
  
*Sniffle* Was Sashuke's response, and he started nibbling on his now soggy bread.  
  
............................ woooooooooooo (the wind ^_~).........................................................  
  
Then  
  
"Shockamaru!!" Sashuke had flung himself upon the other boy and started crying again. "How - *hiccup* am I ever! *hiccup* going to get him back!?"  
  
Shockamaru rubbed Sashuke's back soothingly. "There there, it's ok, even if you don't have that Naruchu I'll help you catch another one. ^^ And then, even if you can't catch another Naruchu, I'll still be your friend!"  
  
The sun shines down on the two and Shockmaru smiles a calming /friendly/ smile.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll be your friend, always."  
  
*Hiccup* "Really?" Sashuke lifted his head, eyes shining with hope.  
  
=__= "Really ^^ No. What the hell do you think I am, stupid? Get off me! You're staining my shirt, washing is very boring." And with a sigh, Shockamaru walked off.  
  
"W-wait! Where are you going?!"  
  
"Not that it's any of your concern," Shockamaru drawled over his shoulder, "but the clouds are appealing, so is the sky... and sleeping."  
  
"But you just slept =["  
  
"Meh, its interesting." And he disappeared into the blue from which he came.  
  
............................ woooooooooooo.................................................................................  
  
Sashuke sighs. He had come to an all time low.  
  
"Chuu~ chuu~" Naruchu was extremely content. Team Rocket had brought him to a cabin...that just happened to be there............. plot device ^^ A cabin with its walls lined with Ramen! Miso, beef, pork, chicken, chili... it was all there and currently our adowable Naruchu was gobbling it all up. "Chuu~"  
  
Hinasie did a squeal of delight. The cuteness was just too much for her and she fainted.  
  
Kibes and Akameowth on the other hand... T_T if only you could see the disgusting Naruchu slobber T_T Him flinging saliva and soup everywhere while slurping, the bits and pieces of flavoring that covered his formerly sweet Naruchu face. He was on a roll; he was.../possessed/ and eating like there was no tomorrow. Just cramming it into his mouth, hardly chewing what now was uncooked ramen and all the while his stomach... grew... oohhh!~ The horrible trans fat of ramen. It went straight to his thighs and waist!  
  
...And he just...grew and grew, eating and eating. By giving him the ramen Team Rocket had hoped that he would not resist their pokenapping. Stuffing three bowls of ramen down his throat not even bothering to spit out the bowls; chucking the packaging and hot water everywhere, the extra flavor paste was smeared all over him. And he just growled for more... more ramen... he MUST HAVE MORE RAMEN. T_T  
  
...... Gobble... gobble?..............  
  
Hinasie, Kibes and Akameowth scream !in terror!...... well actually Akameowth meows..... but he meows !in terror! For Naruchu is now a yellow blob. Yep. A yellow blob !threatening to ^consume them all^!  
  
"AIYEEEEEE!!" And they run around blindly. ¬_¬ Not so cute anymore eh.  
  
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"Eh!??!" Sashuke startled towards the screaming. Suddenly a Pokemon burst through the bushes. It was a !!!Squirt-lee!!! "Lee, lee, lee"  
  
"What?! What was that Squirt-lee? Team Rocket took Naruchu into a cabin that was placed there as a plot device with lots of ramen in hopes that he would not resist their kidnapping and Naruchu ate a lot of ramen including miso, beef, pork, chicken and chili, and now he has blown up into a yellow blob of horror because ramen has a lot of trans fat that goes straight to your thighs and waist and is about to consume everything? NARUCHU!! I'M COMING TO SAVE YOUUUU~!" Sashuke runs off at ^mindblowing^ speed.  
  
"Squirt-lee!" The Pokemon winks toothily and holds up a "peace" posing like a superhero *glittery stars* shimmering the background. XD YAY!  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
"Naruchu!" Sashuke skids to a halt in front of the cabin. Team Rocket is running blindly around in front of it. "Aiyeee! Aiyeee!" Then they suddenly spot Sashuke.  
  
"WHERE IS MY NARUCHU!!??" He demands.  
  
Team Rocket blink at each other...... "Naruchu?" And they run off.  
  
Sashuke stares after them about to cry again. Team Rocket didn't have his Naruchu!?!??! "NARUCHU!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!?!" His attention is drawn to the cabin..... Seemingly about to burst..... yellow goo was oozing through the walls and then.....  
  
KAPOOW!!  
  
THE CABIN RIPS APART!! (Action! Adventure!) Bits of yellow gloop and ramen and cabin is thrown !everywhere!  
  
"NAAAARRUUUUCHHHHHHHHUUUU" Comes a voice resounding from the yellow mass. "Chuuu~ Ramen~" It was Naruchu!  
  
"AIYEEEEE!" screams Sashuke, and he runs away leaving the yellow colored fat to sort itself out.  
  
~A few days later.  
  
Our delightful gang is together again! Misakura, Shockamaru and Sashuke.  
  
"Ah! Naruchu! There you are!" Sashuke runs up to a cute little blob of yellow. "I missed you so much!!" He wails into the Pokenobi, "Let's never be apart again!"  
  
[End]  
  
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God, I know I suck. Notes: I don't really know about trans fat other than it's the worst kind of fat there is. //I have no idea what miso flavor is so... yah... its not like...a combination of beef and whatnot is it =_= //Wow did anyone catch the OOCness in this =_= They were like neither of their characters. // sigh  
  
Yah... so parts 1-3 were originally chapters, but then I didn't update for an extremely long time and the chapters were shamefully short so I gathered them up in a one-shot. ¬_¬ I think I'll get more reviews with a chapter fic ¬_¬ I'm a review hog due to the absence of them. So... randomness = good, remember that. Heh. I thought I had it planned out, but really... no... planning just makes you go against your plans =_= ......... There should be a 'random' genre =_= ...come to think of it this story wasn't very funny ¬_¬ .... I don't seem to like Sakura a lot do I =_=  
  
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Please Review ^^ tell me if this was... mental/random/stupid enough.. cause that's sorta what I was aiming for... 


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